rant: meltdown

So I'm having a mini meltdown about my wedding (yes I know some of you told me it would happen) I was fine until I signed and submitted my photography contract. All of the sudden, I'm second guessing ALL my choices and how this wedding won't the fun and spectacular and people won't find it memoriable and oooh and ahhh over it. And all this is just a projection of how I feel...and how it won't meet MY standards and expectations. Yes I will now admit...I WANT MY WEDDING TO BE PERFECT! *sigh* I've said it.

So now here comes the stressout part for me. Since I've planned weddings and events and it has always turned out perfect, there is this high high expectation that my wedding will be out of this world. And that is what I want. But what if I can't afford it or can't make it happen???

So here in lies the problem.

So now, the problem at hand is how do I make sure this a "mindy wong production" w/o the mwong? And without me loosing it or killing poor unsuspecting brian?? Do you see why I'm stressed? And why now? Why all the second guesses?? This is just so not cool. *sigh* so for now I resign to the fact that I am offically freaked out about my wedding.

Will this admission turn me into a bridezilla???


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